Savage / Roast Christmas Wishes for Writer

'Tis the season to be jolly... or brutally honest, if you're gifting a writer! This Christmas, ditch the sugar-coating and deliver holiday cheer with a side of sharp wit. Get ready to roast your favorite wordsmith with wishes so savage, they might just inspire their next villain.

Choice #1
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Merry Christmas! May your plot holes be fewer than the calories you consume this holiday season, and your rejections remain digital-only.

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Choice #2
Savage / Roast
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Here's to a Christmas filled with inspiration that lasts longer than your last draft's word count before you deleted it all. Happy Holidays!

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Choice #3
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Wishing you a Christmas where your character arcs are as satisfying as the festive food, and less like a deflated soufflΓ©.

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Choice #4
Savage / Roast
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May your holiday break be free of writer's block, but full of enough existential dread to fuel your next tragic masterpiece. Merry Christmas!

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Choice #5
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Happy Christmas! I hope your literary agent actually *reads* your holiday card this year, unlike most of your submissions.

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Choice #6
Savage / Roast
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This Christmas, may your editor's red pen be a festive crimson, and not a violent bloodbath on your precious prose. Cheers!

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Choice #7
Savage / Roast
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May your coffee machine survive the holiday rush, because we all know that's the real literary fuel. Don't run out. Merry Christmas!

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Choice #8
Savage / Roast
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Wishing you a Christmas where your muse doesn't take a holiday and your internal critic finally decides to take a long winter's nap. Fat chance, I know.

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Choice #9
Savage / Roast
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Merry Christmas! May your royalties next year be higher than the percentage of readers who actually finish your entire novel. Aim high!

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Choice #10
Savage / Roast
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Here's to a Christmas where your 'writing process' involves more actual writing and less staring blankly at a blinking cursor. Just kidding (mostly). Happy Holidays!

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Common Questions

Q.How do I deliver these without causing actual offense?

The key is knowing your audience! These wishes are best for writers with a strong sense of humor, who appreciate playful banter and irony. Deliver them with a smile, a wink, or alongside a genuinely thoughtful gift to show it's all in good fun.

Q.When is the best time to use these savage Christmas wishes?

These are perfect for informal gatherings, holiday parties with writer friends, or inside a card for a writer you know well and share a witty rapport with. Avoid using them in professional settings or with new acquaintances.

Q.Can I customize these roasts further?

Absolutely! Personalizing a roast makes it even funnier and more specific. Think about inside jokes, their specific writing quirks, or recent writing struggles they've shared. Just ensure it remains light-hearted and doesn't cross into genuinely mean-spirited territory.

Roast & Savage Christmas Wishes for Writers