Savage / Roast New Year Wishes for Roommate

Tired of generic New Year greetings? If your roommate deserves a unique start to the year, one laced with brutal honesty and hilarious jabs, you've come to the right place. Get ready to ring in the New Year by roasting them into oblivion!

Choice #1
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May your New Year be as clean as you pretend our common areas are. Just kidding, aim lower.

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Choice #2
Savage / Roast
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Here's to a New Year filled with personal growth, starting with learning how to load a dishwasher properly. It's not rocket science, just water and soap.

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Choice #3
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Happy New Year! May your resolutions include finding your own snacks and not mysteriously 'borrowing' mine. A revolutionary concept, I know.

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Choice #4
Savage / Roast
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Wishing you a New Year where your noise-canceling headphones actually work... for *my* sake. Or maybe just learn what 'inside voice' means.

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Choice #5
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May your laundry piles be small and your rent payments be on time this year. One of those seems more achievable than the other.

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Choice #6
Savage / Roast
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Happy New Year! May you finally find someone who tolerates your eccentricities as much as I pretend to. Good luck out there.

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Choice #7
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Here's to a New Year of self-discovery. Perhaps you'll discover where your dirty dishes belong. A man can dream.

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Choice #8
Savage / Roast
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May your Wi-Fi connection be strong and your 'five-minute' showers actually be five minutes. We need hot water too, you know.

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Choice #9
Savage / Roast
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Happy New Year! I hope you achieve all your dreams, especially the one where you learn to replace the toilet paper roll. It's the little things.

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Choice #10
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Wishing you a New Year full of success, prosperity, and maybe, just maybe, an epiphany about turning off the lights when you leave a room. Energy efficiency is cool.

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Common Questions

Q.How do I deliver these savage wishes without actually causing a fight?

The key is timing and knowing your audience. Deliver them with a clear smirk, a playful tone, and a follow-up 'just kidding... mostly!' Make sure it's clear you're joking. A small, non-savage gift afterward can also smooth things over.

Q.What if my roommate is easily offended by jokes like these?

If your roommate is sensitive, it's probably best to dial back the 'savage' and go for more lighthearted, self-deprecating humor instead. Or just stick to a classic, genuinely nice New Year's wish. Knowing their personality is crucial!

Q.Are these wishes suitable for other friends or just roommates?

While specifically tailored for roommate dynamics, many of these themes (cleanliness, noise, borrowing) can be adapted for close friends with whom you share a similar, robust sense of humor. Always consider your relationship and their comfort level before unleashing a roast.

Savage New Year Roasts for Your Roommate | NY Wishes