Savage / Roast New Year Wishes for Runner

Tired of generic 'Happy New Year' texts? For that runner friend who makes every conversation about their splits, it's time to dial up the sass. Get ready to deliver some brutally honest, hilariously savage New Year wishes they won't soon forget.

Choice #1
Savage / Roast
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May your New Year bring fewer chafing incidents and more excuses for why you didn't hit that PR. Happy running... eventually.

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Choice #2
Savage / Roast
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Here's to a New Year filled with more miles logged than actual meaningful conversations. Keep on moving, you social butterfly!

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Choice #3
Savage / Roast
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Wishing you a New Year where your running shoes finally get a day off, or at least a good wash. Seriously, dude, they stink.

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Choice #4
Savage / Roast
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May your New Year’s resolution be to finally outrun the consequences of all those 'training' beers. Good luck with that!

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Choice #5
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Happy New Year! May your Strava feed be slightly less insufferable, and your complaints about hills remain just as dramatic.

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Choice #6
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This year, I hope you find a running buddy who tolerates your pace *and* your pre-race anxieties better than I do. Cheers!

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Choice #7
Savage / Roast
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Here's to a New Year of discovering new muscle aches you didn't even know existed. Just remember, it's 'character building'!

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Choice #8
Savage / Roast
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May your running watch find a stronger GPS signal than your brain finds an original thought. Happy New Year, Captain Obvious!

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Choice #9
Savage / Roast
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Wishing you a New Year where your running playlist finally gets updated from that one song you've been looping since 2018. Please.

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Choice #10
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Happy New Year! May your post-run selfie game be stronger than your actual finishing sprint. And yes, we know you ran.

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Common Questions

Q.Who are these savage New Year wishes best suited for?

These wishes are perfect for runner friends with a great sense of humor who appreciate a good-natured roast. They're meant to be funny and light-hearted, not genuinely offensive.

Q.How should I deliver these wishes to get the best reaction?

Timing and tone are key! Deliver them with a smirk, a wink, or even a playful eye-roll. A text message or a personal card with an added inside joke would work well, ensuring they know it's all in good fun.

Q.What if my runner friend doesn't appreciate the humor?

Know your audience! If your friend is sensitive, perhaps stick to a more traditional New Year greeting. These roasts are for those who can take a joke and dish one back, celebrating their passion in a humorous way.