Savage / Roast Retirement Wishes for Client
After years of demanding deadlines and "urgent" emails, your client is finally riding off into the sunset. It's time to send them off not with a whimper, but with a hilarious, savage roar. Prepare to craft the perfect roast, because some goodbyes are better served with a side of brutal honesty.
Congratulations on your retirement! Now you can finally pretend to be busy without actually having to deliver anything.
βHeard you're retiring. Does this mean I finally get a break from your 'urgent' last-minute requests, or will you just find new people to annoy?
βWishing you a retirement filled with endless naps and zero deadlines. Mostly because we're tired of meeting yours.
βNot specific enough?
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Generate with AIThey say retirement is the longest coffee break you'll ever take. Just try not to over-caffeinate and try to micromanage your grandchildren.
βEnjoy your well-deserved retirement! We're all secretly hoping you'll discover a new hobby that doesn't involve emailing us at 3 AM.
βSo, you're retiring? Does this mean you'll finally have time to read all those emails you claimed were 'too long'?
βCongratulations on stepping into the golden years! Just remember, 'urgent' now only applies to finding your reading glasses or the TV remote.
βWishing you a retirement as successful as your ability to delegate tasks that weren't actually yours. We'll miss... the learning experience.
βYou've worked hard your whole life... mostly at making us work harder. Enjoy your retirement; we'll try not to pop the champagne *too* loudly.
βCheers to your retirement! May your days be as productive as your 'out of office' replies were lengthy. Good luck finding a new team to confuse.
βCommon Questions
Q.Is it appropriate to send savage wishes to a client?
It depends entirely on your relationship with the client. These wishes are best reserved for clients with whom you have a very close, informal, and established rapport, and who you know have a great sense of humor. When in doubt, err on the side of caution.
Q.How do I ensure the roast doesn't go too far?
The key is to keep it lighthearted and avoid anything genuinely offensive or personal. Focus on common workplace annoyances (like deadlines, emails, delegation) that are relatable and not deeply sensitive. The goal is laughter, not insult. A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it to their face with a smile, don't write it.
Q.Can I combine a savage wish with a sincere one?
Absolutely! In fact, pairing a humorous roast with a genuinely heartfelt wish often makes the message even more impactful and balanced. You can start with the roast to get a laugh, then follow up with a sincere thank you for their business and best wishes for their future endeavors, showing that it's all in good fun.